Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny


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Got a Problem in Life?

When the exercise was complete, I asked that they get their computers out. Once they did, I asked them to please put that word below your name in all caps and bold.

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I asked that they talk with their respective team and explain the rationale and the exercise we just completed. Share with them why you choose that word and tell them that you need their assistance to hold you accountable for it. Moving forward, I asked that every time they put an email together for distribution or were responding to another person, read it before you send it.

Were they conveying the intent and meaning of your one word in that communication? I told them that when I read each of your emails, I will do so with a new perspective this year. I want to challenge you to not just write it down and talk about it. I want to see action. She got it! We became obsessed with a number instead of obsessed with our people. I asked them if their perspective was a little bit different.

Artificial Persuasion: The Invisible Brand

They all nodded. Are you willing to approach your objectives a little differently this year , or a particular goal? Can you commit some time to find that one word that will be clear to you in guiding your decisions, mindset, attitude, direction, and moral compass? It is something we all strive to achieve. We look for growth in so many areas of our life: personal, spiritual, relationship, and career.

The Life Wheel In Solution-Focused Coaching

I tend to be realistic when discussing growth because the speed of technology has put us in a position where we lack the skills to develop our sense of patience and no longer respect the process. Nor was it ever intended to be. When I talk about success, I am talking about achieving your purpose. It goes back to growth , finding your true meaning in life whether personal, spiritual, relationship or career and building it to prosper , as well as sustain adversity.

Real growth will require work. It will demand the best out of you every day. You will be responsible for your own integrity, morals, values, and perseverance to establish as a foundation for a fulfilled growth to actually occur.

Once this is formed, your individual character is displayed. There is a parable about the Chinese Bamboo Tree that explains the lessons of growth through patience, faith, and perseverance. No different than any other plant, the Chinese Bamboo Tree requires the perfect conditions: water, fertile soil, and sun. What is distinctly different, however, is after one year, there is no sprouting.

The second year passes, and there is still no visible activity. The third year looks no different than the first two. The fourth year arrives, and the farmer sees nothing. One would expect despair, frustration, or anger. But to grow the Chinese Bamboo Tree, one must be patient, because it is in the fifth year that the miracle of growth begins , and in a radical way. The farmer has nurtured this plant for four years, investing time, resources, money and most of all, patience, in not rushing the outcome, but rather respecting the process.

The rewards are amazing. The Chinese Bamboo Tree will grow up to 80 feet in just six weeks! Numerous culms, or small hollow shoots, will grow in an entire field. Four years of being stagnant only to flourish in the fifth year? How is that possible? We tend to judge growth by what is visible and tangible, but does all growth show outwardly? We may spend years developing a skill that is not necessarily one that is required in our current environment, but we are building ourselves up for success in the future.

Think about things like integrity, character, knowledge, faith, perseverance, gratitude — all of these are traits that require the same nurturing process of the Chinese Bamboo Tree. Below the soil was an explosion of roots growing wide and deep, capable of supporting its outward growth once it sprouts. We will see less.

We will feel less. We will hear less. Ironically, rush and more usually mean less. The lesson lies in patience. When are you building your dreams, goals, and purpose, you must have the patience to overcome the adversity, barriers, fear, and doubt that will accompany the process.

The Chinese Bamboo Tree requires a stable base of roots to sustain its height and weight; imagine if it did grow after just one year. The first strong wind of the season would destroy the entire crop. The same goes for each of us as we build our character.

We can look for shortcuts and excuses to portray a person who is prepared, but unable to sustain the confidence that they start with. Remember, what we establish inwardly will be exposed outwardly. Personal growth is not natural; it takes time, focus and a commitment to better ourselves. If you are willing to be patient and persistent, I assure you the reward will far outweigh the investment. Patience is active acceptance of the process required to attain your goals and dreams.


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Success is easily defined — it is a series of small steps forward. Growth is not associated with luck. Growth is an outcome of becoming comfortable stepping outside your comfort zone with a passion and zest to be the best you possible. The problem is, the defense is playing checkers. Any given Sunday, you may see this ploy, but I want you to think about it through a different lens. But let me challenge you. Which is the better time to show those your team that they are capable of achieving more than they think they can, in good times or in bad?

Obviously the second choice. I believe the status quo is average people leading average lives with average fulfillment and average accomplishments. You are not working to achieve average. You lead with a goal of making an impact and eliciting greatness out of others. That will not occur with a prevent mindset.

Raise the bar, push those you lead to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

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Use their current state of success to drive them to the next level. Here are a few examples of what makes a strong leader:. If you are midway through an objective, and not only do the analytics support a successful approach, but the enthusiasm and buy-in of your team reinforce it — then raise the bar. Be specific in your communication why you are doing it. Challenge your team to exceed expectations at every opportunity that presents itself.

PDF Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny

Not only will it raise the morale of the team, but the confidence it instills in the individual is priceless. There is no training that can replicate the improvements in the fundamental skill sets that happen when you turn up the speed from a comfortable pace. You do it gradually — never accelerate to a point that the distance between where they are and where you intend to take them becomes a struggle.

Otherwise, you risk burnout. These are the teams that are successful because they play with the advantage. If you are on the defensive side, you are forced to react. In some cases, there may not even be a chance for adjustment before you realize the loss. If you train and communicate it effectively, you will in turn create better leaders. After all, that is the goal? In the quest to become a successful leader, certain lessons along the way come as a surprise to some.

You are confident in your education, have built skills around your strengths, have developed strong relationships with your mentors, have led by example and you have respected the process of perseverance and patience. Honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained.

Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny
Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny
Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny
Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny
Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny
Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny Cues for Coachable Moments: springboard to designing your destiny

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